HANDLING HARD EMOTIONS IN THE WORK PLACE BEFORE THEY EXPLODE
Nearly every worker in any business across every industry will face hard emotions. Why? When you work with others, whether they are excellent people or tedious ones, there is always a high chance of miscommunication.
Often, it is something little that snowballs. It could be a comment, an action, or even a lack of a comment or action that leads to frustration, annoyance, or anger. Then, if that emotion remains bottled up and goes unresolved or unacknowledged, it can lead to even greater resentment or displeasure. The next thing you know, you are venting to a co-worker, slacking off on your work, or perhaps even exploding at your boss when the emotions finally boil over.
Obviously, this isn’t the way to go about it. Communication is critical for career progress, and lack of communication can cost one everything.
The ThreeIQ System
The ThreeIQ System, as referenced by Adam Tarnow, co-author of The Edge: How to Stand Out, is a powerful communication tool designed to simplify and de-escalate difficult conversations. While it isn’t the only solution, it’s a model to follow if communicating hard emotions in a professional environment isn’t one’s forte.
Tarnow writes that the framework consists of four steps:
- Intent: Start by clarifying why you’re having the conversation.
- Incident: Describe what happened.
- Impact: Share how it affected you or the team.
- Question: End with, “That’s how I see it—I’m curious to know how you see it?”
Let’s dive a little deeper!
Intent: When you start by clarifying why the conversation is happening, it sets the intent in a professional manner with a constructive tone. Rather than seeming like a personal attack, the other party understands your motivations are not personal but solution-focused.
Incident: When you describe the specific event or situation that prompted the discussion from your point of view, it allows the other party to see how another perceived the event. During this, it is vital to avoid generalizations or emotional accusations, strictly stating the facts to prevent defensiveness and keep the conversation grounded.
Impact: After you explain the incident, you can explain the consequences to yourself, the team, or the organization. Whether stating that it led to a demoralized team, slowed a work project, or another negative aspect, sharing the impact helps to frame the issue in terms of broader implications, encouraging empathy and understanding.
Question: Lastly, it is vital to remember that this is a discussion, not a lecture. You want to conclude by inviting the other person’s perspective with a question like, “That’s how I see it—how do you see it?” This step fosters a two-way dialogue, shows openness in hearing the other person’s side of the story, and paves the way for collaborative solutions.
How PeopleWorks International Can Help Your Leadership
Whether you are an employee or in a leadership position, managing communication is a critical aspect of your career. Nobody enjoys having these conversations, but they still need to be had.
At PeopleWorks International, we believe that the single greatest way to facilitate improved results in your organization is by investing in your people. Healthy leaders lead healthy teams, and healthy teams produce healthy results. If your team is struggling with communication and conflict resolution, we can help. Contact us today to learn more!